I've tried for a day and a half to think of a different title for this post, but in all honesty, that's the only one that fits my feelings and opinions of this holiday season. I apologize to my readers who have delicate sensibilities. Stick a post-it over the screen and move on.
Every season I whine and complain about how much I hate Christmas, and every year, well-meaning friends and family give me advice on how to get over it and embrace the true meaning of Christmas. Well, let's see... I have no problem commemorating the birth of Christ, even though I may have a problem with what happened in the 2,000 or so years after he died, so that isn't the issue. I'm all for family togetherness, even though that doesn't actually seem to be all that prevalent during this blessed season. Red and green, although not my favorite color combination, don't immediately drive me into a blinding rage. True, I hate the commercialism (who doesn't); I'm making most of the gifts that I'm giving this year. (I don't think the yarn companies are complicit in the evil schemes to sell things at Christmastime. I won't think so. The new patterns that keep bombarding my email inbox are a total coincidence. "Ten best patterns for Christmas gifts! Hurry and buy now! You know you'll need a month to finish this sweater, honey!") I am annoyed by how catty and jealous family members can start to become. "What? But you promised to spend ALL of Christmas with US. We don't want to share you with the three other branches of your family!" As if the only family togetherness that matters on Christmas is their own. Everyone gets so damned stressed and grouchy. For me, it's already begun; my mom is flying up here to Seattle for Christmas, and I'm working out those details. Already it's required calls between family members, discussions about ethics, predictions of anger and blame, and pleas for preventive intervention. I'm really not cut out for this.
But here is my sad confession: when I think about what bothers me the most about Christmas, what steps forward to take center stage are the damn carols. That's right, the cheesy renditions of "Jingle Bell Rock" and Mariah Carey's unbearable "All I Want for Christmas" are what cause me the greatest anxiety. Ben and I went out for dinner the other night (Olivia in tow, yes) and they seated us right under a speaker. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but this speaker was BLARING the afore-mentioned putrescence at an intolerable volume. My skin started to crawl almost immediately, and I asked our server if they wouldn't mind turning it down a hair. "Oh, sorry hon, wish I could, but that control panel's in the office and no one has a key right now." Of course. My perfect husband arched an eyebrow, silently scanning me. "Can you stand it? Do we need to go?" his eyebrow asked. I was stoic and decided that instead of leaving, we'd have such a brilliant conversation that I wouldn't even notice the speakers. We ended up comparing the merits of cheesecake to the decadence of the brownie. Sadly enough, that did it for me. I was fine.
But really, how depressing is this? I'd probably make it through Christmas just fine if every speaker wasn't hijacked by awful music for a month and a half (minimum). I mean, what they're playing to begin with is usually pretty awful, but it's normally at a level where you can tune it out, and the themes vary: love lost, love gained, love unfaithful, love in the sexual sense, love in the sexual sense, love in.... well, yes. At least it's SOMETHING.
My usual compatriot in all things, even hating Christmas, is my grandmother. When the season started, I called her to have our usual very short bitching session entitled "Here We Go Again With the Christmas Tyranny." This year, though, I got an unpleasant surprise: "Oh, come on now. You have to make things fun and pleasant for Olivia."
Oh. Really. Do I. Well, this baby is only three weeks old, and I'm sure she'll be FINE if I am NOT enthusiastic about Christmas. next year, things will really be on the line, but give me my freedom just this one last time to be a total grinch. Please. I need this.
That said, this probably will be my last year to freely complain. To those of you who really enjoy this time of year, I am both envious and disgusted. Enjoy your trees and tinsel.
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5 comments:
I'd have to say I enjoy the music (some of it) and the big, nasty tree in my front room. What pisses me off is the consumerism. Well, that and Bill O'Reilly's ramblings about the "War on Christmas"?
Anyways, I think my church is partcipating in this event here:
http://www.adventconspiracy.org/
Read it and tell me what you think
Yes, so frequently we set up holidays, religious organizations, clubs, and many other things with a certain purpose in mind, yet we end up accomplishing the opposite of that purpose. Like you were saying with Christmas, it's supposed to be about family togetherness, etc, and ends up being the season with the highest suicide rate, the most bitching, and the most senseless wasting of resources out of any time of year.
I know this is the very last thing you would expect to hear from me, but I'm with you on the Christmas music thing this year.
Something tipped the scales for me, possibly when I heard "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" (or its counterpart--Run, Run, Rudolph) for the umpteenth time, or maybe it was the thirty-ninth rendition of "Winter Wonderland." Whatever it was, I'm heartily sick of winter music.
I still enjoy my Christmas carols, though... "O Holy Night," "O Come Emmanuel," "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen," and so on, but that's not what gets played.
On a completely separate note, I am very happy to have found this blog. :o) Yay for writing.
Just a note. Good thing about little kids. Totally no concept of holidays for the first couple of years. They get excited seeing all the family, but if it wasn't there, they wouldn't know what they were missing.
Yeah ditto.. I mean I usually don't really mind most of the holiday paraphernalia but I'm feeling pretty "over it" this year..
ps I'm stoked that your blogging again Emma.
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